FALLEN
by SerinaN
Summary: Amanda Marciano has had a tough past, family problems and no friends, but then her mom dies and she moves to England with her Aunt Mary. Things are supposed to get better right....but now her world is futher off course then it started
1. Chapter 1: The Hogwarts Express

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

CHAPTER 1

THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS (Butter beer party)

Do you want some basic information about me? I'm Amanda Marciano and I'm on my way to my first day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm 17. I transferred from the USA. I live with my Aunt Mary who is a Witch. Mom died, dad didn't want me. It's the same old tear jerker you have heard probably a million times in your short little life, or long life, who knows? Not me. Anyway Mary dropped me off in front of Kings Cross Station and told me in her annoying British accent that platform 9¾ is between 9 and 10. She told me to run if I was nervous. I nodded thinking that I wouldn't be nervous. All I had to do was walk into the station and ask for directions to 9¾ and get on the train. I got up and went to the door of the station with my trunk packed with all the things I needed. I walked up to a man in an official looking outfit, I assumed he was the guard.

"Excuse me sir?" I asked in a false sweet tone.

"What? Oh yes?"

"Can yo direct me to platform 9¾?"

"9¾. Go harass that man over there." he pointed to another man. "He's my boss. He'll take care of your meddling pranking arse." I gave him an icy glare thinking about Kate and Sam. They were very mean and hated me. They had since I lost all my friends on that night when...I snapped back to reality when I felt rough hands on my shoulder.

"Get your filthy hands off me you bastard." I swung around and hit him square in the jaw.

"Oh" he grabbed his face with one hand while keeping a firm grasp on my shoulder. "Oi! Prongs, Moony, Got another one." Two boys, apparently Moony and Prongs, laughed and came over.

"Hogwarts?" asked the one I punched. I nodded.

"You've never been there have you?" asked moony or prongs, I still didn't know which is which. I shook my head and listened to their hushed conversation.

"She looks too old to be a first year" said the one I punched still rubbing his jaw

"Yes, but she must be, how else would she not have come before."

"She does look too old to be a first year Moony," said Prongs, or at least I assume it is prongs because it he was talking to Moony. " I think she is a transfer. Remember Brianna Franta in our first year?"

"Oh yeah. How do you remember her name?"

"She was my first kiss at Hogwarts" I looked down at my clothes at this because I felt like I was intruding. I was wearing a black shirt that was see-through on the bottom showing off my belly button piecing, which was done without moms permission, when I decided to get friends. I thought it would impress them. Instead it caused them to reject me more. I frowned. Below my shirt I had on a black mini skirt, and strappy black shoes on my feet. I had on a black leather jacket left unbuttoned and open on over my shirt. My finger and toe nails were painted black, and my hair was naturally raven black. I looked into my soul each day before I dressed and wore clothes that match my mood. My aunt thought I was stuck in mourning because my soul always said 'black'. I wasn't though. I dressed in all black even before my mother died. She was a drunk and she beat me. On my 10th birthday I had a party. She had promised not to drink. I was a fool to believe her, but I did and invited my 20 closest friends. I had friends than. Stupid. Stupid, stupid me. Towards the end of the party she had stayed without drinking and I told her I wouldn't mind if she had a beer. _A _beer. Stupid. Stupid, stupid me. She got her beer. Than another, and another. She got drunk after the 4th beer. She saw me crying (because she was drunk) and Kate and Sam were comforting me. Stupid. Stupid, stupid me told them to go away and leave me alone( I wanted to fix it myself) and she heard me say leave me alone and thought they hurt me. She yelled and hit them. _My mother hit my best friends_. They ran to their mothers and since than I have been a reject. Since than I dressed in all black.

I felt a sharp ping on my shoulder and turned my head to the right. Away from whoever pinched me. It was the boy I punched I noticed when he came around to the other side of me. He stuck his hand out reaching for mine. Mine stayed tight at my side. He took it and lifted it to his lips, in a charming way(or at least he thought he was charming). I snatched it back.

"I'm Sirius Black." he said

"I'm Amanda" there was no last name said. I kept that to myself.

"Well, Amanda, I am here to take you to the Hogwarts express."

"I can manage on my own thanks." I said icily. He was being too friendly. The last person that was nice to me ended up only doing so to humiliate me. He ignored that and pulled me towards the barrier between 9 and 10.

"What are you doing to me?" I asked this mysterious Sirius Black.

"Bringing you to the train. We were now at the barrier and facing it. He was behind me. suddenly he pushed me into it. I didn't feel any pain. 'I must be immune to pain now'. I thought. I scrunched my face up than unscrunched opening my eyes. I was in another part of the train station. 'Oh God!' I thought 'I am hallucinating'

"No your not hallucinating"

"How did you know that's what I thought?"

"You said it out loud.'

"Oh Crap I did?"

"Yeah." he winced as if he felt bad for me and knew my pain. I smiled an evil sneer. 'Ha. As if _he_ could possibly know what I'm going through. _He_ is _obviously_ popular.'

I turned abruptly and walked off throwing a 'thanks' over my shoulder. I got on the train and looked for an empty compartment. All of the ones I found were full. 'There must be an empty seat _somewhere_' I thought. So far the only seat I saw was next to that Sirius Black person. I did _not_ want to sit there. I searched the whole train and finally found a seat with a bunch of 11 year olds. They all seemed so excited and were pestering me with questions about the school.

"_SHUT UP"_ I roared after I couldn't take there constant chatter anymore. I pulled a book out and began to read a sickening love story. I slammed it shut and grabbed a notebook. Poems. That was written in big lettering on the cover. Inside the pages hundreds of poems were written in minuscule writing I flipped to the 59th page and began to write a new poem

_Why can't you see it?_

_Am I that hard to read?_

_Do you believe my so fake smile?_

_Or are my eyes shaded with tears?_

That's all I got down before Sirius came in and took my notebook.

"Nooo!" I screamed and jumped up. My poems were my most personal thoughts. If he read them...

"I wont read it." He dropped it onto my seat. He grabbed my arm and brought me away from them. We were alone now. I didn't like being alone with people.

"I saved you a seat. Why didn't you sit with us?"

"I don't like you or your idiotic buddies."

"Oh come on, we're not that bad. Come sit with us. We're having a party." I shuddered remembering my party. I tear fell out of my eyes and I wiped it away , I thought before he saw it.

"I _hate_ parties"

"Parties are fun. So what if you went to one where the butter beer spilled...' I screamed then. I really let it out. People from many compartments poked there heads out to see what was going on. I couldn't stop screaming. I tried I really did, but my screams wouldn't stop. After a minute they turned to sobs.

"What happened?" asked Sirius. He hugged me, and I clung to him like he was the only solid thing in my life. Almost like he was my boyfriend, but he isn't, and he wont be. A teacher came running up.

"Sirius Black! What have you done to this young lady?" I heard a strict woman's voice say.

"Nothing, at least nothing I'm aware of ." he patted my back as a fresh wave of sobs shook me.

"Step away from her." that woman said. Sirius let me go and stepped back, but I wouldn't let him go. My sharp talon-like nails bit into him almost making him bleed.

"Well fine than. Mr. Black take Ms. Marciano to your compartment and try to make your girlfriends sobs stop."

"She's uh, not my girlfriend. She doesn't want me. Until now I thought she hated me, but now I'm not so sure." Sirius Wrapped his arm around my shoulder and directed me to his compartment.


	2. Chapter 2: Meeting Lily

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

CHAPTER 2

MEETING LILY ( I don't need pity)

A while later I woke up. I must have fallen asleep crying on Sirius shoulder. He was next to me and looked down at me when I turned to look up.

"Morning Sunshine." he said. I tried to roll my eyes, but couldn't help but smile, I wrinkled my nose to hide it.

"I'm not_ your_ sunshine." I said

"Of course your not. I only held you when you were screaming."

"I would have clawed you and make you bleed of you had tried to let me go, or didn't you notice?"

"I noticed, believe that." For some unknown reason his accent didn't bother me.

"It doesn't? That's good right?"

"Was I thinking out loud again?"

"Yes." again he grimaced that grimace. I suddenly was aware of the fact that his shoulder was still acting as my pillow.

"Sorry." I said nodding to his tear-soaked shoulder as I got up.

I had my hand on the door knob when prongs asked "Where are you going?"

"My notebook. I _need_ my notebook."

"Oh well after you get it come back here. Sirius will miss you." my eyes must have told him I didn't believe him for he said "Sirius thinks you will make a good Marauder." I gave him a questioning look, which was ignored. 'Typical'

"No." Sirius said though he was blushing uncontrollably

"Your blushing. I never would have thought that you, would blush. None of my other friends blush." I said I added in an undertone "not that I have friends anymore"

"You don't have any friends?" asked Sirius hearing my small comment. He looked genuinely worried.

"No. I used to have Kate and Sam, but than mom hit them...before she died"

"Your mom died?" asked moony he too looked worried

"Yeah, she drank to much, alcohol poisoning."

"Was it a one time thing, or was she a." Prongs paused unsure "drunk?" he said it cautiously as if afraid it would hurt me. 'Ha. Nothing hurts me anymore'

"She was a drunk." I said it like it was no big deal. All of them, (including the one without any hope or happiness in his eyes who didn't say anything, and was chubby) looked at me with pity. Too much pity. "Look" I said icily "I don't need your pity, or anyone else's. If I needed pity I would have told you all at first, or I would have said that small comment about being friendless louder" I turned than and ran towards my compartment and my precious, precious notebook. My eyes were filled with the tears that I didn't even know I had left. They clouded my vision and I bumped into someone and fell to the ground.

"Sorry." I said, and amazingly my voice wasn't choked.

"It's ok. What's wrong." I looked up drying my tears so I could see straight. I crashed into a red headed girl in a pink shirt and blue jeans.

"I DON'T NEED PITY!" I yelled.

"I don't either." she said quietly. I looked at her eyes. I had the amazing ability to see into peoples hearts and minds through their eyes. 'Hope, hope, where is her hope? Oh there it is hidden behind desire.' I knew immediately that she was not a girl to get on the bad side of. Her hope was nearly hidden behind her desires. She wanted to be equal. And she wanted her hope. How was it that she couldn't find her hope? She wants perfection and hopes more for than anything it is blocking her hope for love from being found and she wants love. I could read beyond her hopes and desires and see her pain.

"What are you doing?" she asked me.

"Oh. I'm trying to read your emotions but your hard to read."

"Is that good or bad?"

"I don't know. Both?"

"You're the girl who screamed earlier aren't you?" she asked. I nodded. "Come talk with me." she said and I being the dumb Amanda that I am followed. She led me into another compartment that was empty except for a soft fuzzy cat that had a strange diamond chain on her head going down to the tip of her tail and a... _monkey?_

"Can I ask why you screamed?"

"Sure but to understand would take a while."

"We're only about halfway there, we have time."

"All right. I'll tell the short version. My mom has been a drunk since a rough divorce when I was 7. I hade friends. When I was 10 my mom promised not to drink at my 10th birthday party. Near the end of the party mom hadn't had anything to drink and I was stupid and told her she could have a drink. I thought she would only have 1 beer, but she had more and got drunk. Her being drunk made me cry and my friends Kate and Sam tried to comfort me. I wanted to sort this problem out myself and told them to leave me alone. My mother heard me crying and heard me tell them to leave me alone and_ hit them! She hit them!_ Kate and Sam deserted me than and so did all other 18 of my friends. I haven't had friends since than. I have since worn black, only black no cheery colors for me" I nodded to her shirt. "My mother died a few months ago so I transferred here from The USA. Now I live with my Aunt Mary and her stupid husband."

"What about your father you said they divorced."

"He didn't want me. He never wanted me except when I was little. After the divorce he decided he didn't want me because I was old enough to understand some things."

"Oh. Your life is crappy compared to mine. First I want to tell you my name. I'm Lily Evans. What is your name?" she said. 'Ok the girl with red hair and green eyes is Lily Evans'

"Um, I'd like to keep that to myself if you don't mind."

"I understand. So I have always been thought of as a freak because my sister Petunia told everyone about a time in preschool when I did a small bit of accidental magic and caused the raw eggs to crack open all over her floor in a picture of a mad face. I was mad at her because she broke my dolls head. I was three. I never had friends and I was picked on and now I have 2 friends, and my parents pretend to like me but I think they really don't."

"Oh that sucks. Well if they pick on you than threaten them. Make them fear you." I suggested

"I don't want them to be afraid of me. I want them to be my friends."

"Oh..." I was at a loss for words. Somehow even though she has parents and friends her c life seemed worse than mine. I think it was her tone of voice. It seemed like there was more that she wasn't telling me.

"What is it that your not telling me?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh nothing. I like your belly button piercing. I was gonna get one done with Christy Kelley and Tara Crateon. They are my best friends. She snapped her fingers twice and the cat and monkey turned into very beautiful people. The cat became a girl wearing all white, spotless clothes. She had her brown hair tied up elegantly on her head revealing her beautiful eyes. The Monkey turned into a girl of darker complection and had blond hair in a pretty pony-tail

"I'm Christy Kelley." said a the girl with the pale skin

"And I'm Tara Crateon." Her skin more tanned than either of her friends. She was wearing a brightly colored top and blue denim capris.

"And I'm Amanda..." I paused slightly unsure "M." I said finally. Lily's friends began looking me over, every now and than pinching my arms of legs and measuring around my waist, butt and chest.

"What are you doing to me?" I asked them eventually. One had pinched a little to hard and I discovered I wasn't immune to pain after all.

"Mmm."Christy said in response to my question. Lily told her friends to stop please but they weren't listening so she snapped her finders a few times to get the attention of the other girls.

"I think Amanda has had enough of your poking and prodding and pinching?" she said. I nodded and the other girls reluctantly stopped.

"What was that all about?" I asked

"OH we design clothes to wear and we were getting your sizes. You told us your secrets so we need to tell you ours.

"I'm sorry to burden you. Guys with my crappy life. You can pretend you did n't hear it. That's what most do. People didn't care that my mother beat me or that my father...did things just as bad as my mother only worse. I wont blame you. I'm an outcast and noone dares about me, but I don't need you to care." I was furious when they pointed out that they had heard my secrets so I was yelling in am insanely calm voice( it is quite hard to yell calmly).

"AMANDA MARCIANO! You went to get your notebook 15 minutes ago." Yelled Sirius opening the door to Lily's compartment. "We thought you had gone to kill yourself." you seemed quite depressed and angry when you left."

"I was ticked. You guys were giving me the pity I didn't deserve. It was my fault my mom was a drunk. I drove her to drinking and my daddy... that was my fault too. He wouldn't want me after that."

"Amanda! Whatever your parents did was _not_ your fault. It was their choice. Anything is forgivable."

"NO!" I yelled. My mom had hit my friends because of the divorce which had been 3 years previous. My dad raped me. It was my fault for being so appealing. The divorce was my fault too and so was my lack of friends. My parents were fine until I started going to school and met Sam for the first time. She became like a second daughter to my mother and father. She was always there... One day we came home to my house after school and walked in on my dad and another woman in bed together and it was my fault... if I hadn't been so simple minded and set on scarring him... I knew Daddy always was in bed tired from work when I got home and this day I felt like sneaking up on him and we both snuck up the stair and in and yelled "boo". The girl in his bed didn't have time to hide from me that day. And so I found out. I didn't know it was wrong so at dinner that night I asked Daddy who she was. Mom Flipped. After the divorce I was Daddy's pride and Joy. He got so into me that he felt a need and began to touch me. Hit escalated each weekend. I went there on weekends. Eventually he raped me and I didn't know it was wrong. I knew it hurt, but I didn't think it was wrong and so I didn't say anything to my mother and eventually when I knew it was wrong I told my mother. Despite her drinking I knew she cared about me , or at least she did when she was sober. She told the cops and daddy was gonna get I trouble but he was cleared of all charges. It was erased from his record when it was closed and he was innocent. After that he didn't like me, wouldn't even send me a Christmas card. I sent him a card, home made every year since I stopped going to see him. I send him cards for everything. His birthday my birthday Christmas, Easter, valentines day..everything. Anyway. Even though I knew ti was my fault I couldn't forgive him. He is supposed to be blind to the appealing way his little 8 year old girl looks, she isn't supposed to drink because I snuck on her husband, my Daddy, one day. I think that until the day I die he will be Daddy. No Matter how much I hate him now I can still remember the way he smiled at me. How he used to love me for me and not my body. I remember when he used to be proud instead of being angry... I was thinking this over when I felt a tapping on my shoulder.

"Amanda! What...You were...doing...space..." Sirius gave me a questioning look.

"Um ok." I agreed, but with what I do not know.

"I was trying to decide weather to ask what you were doing or why you were staring into space now understood what I had agreed to and it didn't make sense. Oh well, I thought.

"I was thinking about how I could never forgive _them_ for what they did to me. Never will I forgive her for, for hitting me, and Kate and sam" I was starting to cry as I said this. "And never, _never, NEVER_ will I forgive him, for, for, for..."I couldn't continue I broke down into sobs


	3. Chapter 3: Marauders and Demangels

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

CHAPTER 3

MARAUDERS AND DEMANGELS ( Amy and Kandie)

XXXXXXXXXXXFLASH BACKSXXXXXXXXXXX

I was seven watching me hero, my daddy, drive away from her house for the last time, shattering my heart as the tears rolled from my eyesx

I pretended to sleep as Daddy snuck in and raped me for the first time as I wept silently. I was only eight years old.

x

I was 10 and trying to get Kate and Sam to forgive me for my mothers outburst. They just ignored me and started to make fun of my tears.

x

I was 11 and running away so that I could go to a magic school during the summer, for kids who had failed classes or hadn't been able to go.

x

"Mommy! Mommy no! I'm Sorry! Please! No Mommy, don't! It hurts! Mommy, Mommy stop!" I was 12 again and begging my mother to stop beating me with her silver candlestick

x

I was 14, in court, testifying against my father.

x

I was at young age 16 and looking at my mother, dying on the bathroom floor from alcohol poisoning. I lifted her head onto my lap and stroked her hair as tears fell from my eyes onto her face and she stopped breathing.

x

I was 17 and meeting my aunt Mary for the first time.

XXXXXXXXXXEND OF FLASH BACKSXXXXXXXXXX

Sirius shook me awake. "Mandie? Mandie wake up."

"I am NOT Mandie. That is what Kate and Sam used to call me. Seven years ago I was Mandie. Now I am Amanda."

"Who are Kate and Sam?" asked Sirius. Lily and the girls groaned.

"Katherine and Samantha, My ex-best friends." I said. He nodded

"If not Mandie, than...Amy?"

"Not if I have any say. I don't need friends any more than I need pity."

"You will have a nickname! I am you friend, we are your friends. You are now Amy and an Official marauder.

"NO!" said Lily. "We don't need another marauder, but we need a new member for the Demangels."

"Marauder? Demangels?" I asked

"The Marauders are a group of big headed bullying pranksters, four boys, Sirius is one of them. Do you really want to be in a group with Idiots like him? The demangels are a very wonderful group of pretty girls who are half demon and half angel."

"More like all demon." I muttered meaning myself.

"And all Angel for me." said Christy. "Of course that's only on the outside."

"I'm demon through and through."

"Oh. Ok, Well lily can't stand the marauders, but I cant stand Lily so..." Tara said. Christy, laughed with tara and Lily slapped them playfully. Sirius attempted to snap at them but he couldn't snap.

"Does everyone around here snap, or try to?" I said n0

"No it's a Demangels thing. We snap at each other. I snap at Tara and Christy, they snap at me. Sirius cant snap. Its pathetic. Anyways Go with him so that the James doesn't kill you for trying to get me. He is such an idiot. Just because he can't have me doesn't mean he needs to kill every guy that wants me."

"Hey, Oh no. Do you really think I would want a girl like you when any girl I want would literally fall at my feet."

"Glad to hear you don't want me." I said cheerily. I was glad too. If he wanted me...well, I mean, that most guys want to um...yeah, but I wouldn't.

"No. But I decided I'm not James so I'm not about to chase the girl of my dreams around. I'm going a different route. It's called jealousy."

"HA!" I said. My traditional fake pathetic laugh. "Girl of your dreams? Jealousy? Wit who is James?"

"The one with black messy hair.." he said.

"Oh that prongs one?"

"Yeah." he looked puzzled that I knew that.

"Im off to fetch my notebook." I said and skipped off. I had to write a poem in a genre that I had never tried before Joyous. I opened to the 59th page but turned it to page 60. I started to write

_Happy, not sad_

_happy isn't bad_

_ignore all the pain of old_

'_cuz I have friends that shine like gold_

'Well' I thought as I looked at it 'I cant be good at everything'. Sirius came in again into my compartment with the little kids. They actually looked at him this time instead of hiding because they thought I was mad. I heard one take a sharp breath and mutter something about how 'yummy' he looked.

"Hello Amy." he said.

"Don't call me Amy." said I. ("I wouldn't care if he called me Amy." said that same 11 year old)

"Ok. 'Amy M.' Than. Anyways. Come sit with me." he pulled me close to him, but I wiggled free. Too soon. Too soon to be that close with someone. Especially someone that looked like my daddy. ("Why did she wiggle away? I wouldn't have wiggled free." that little girl was about to make me laugh)

"Only if my friend uh..." I looked at her, because I didn't know her name "Kandie" she whispered. "...Kandie can come too."

"Uh.. I guess that's ok." He looked unsure. I shrugged it off. As we walked towards he seat Kandie looked at me. 'Thank you' she mouthed. 'No problem' I said back. We got there and Sirius sat down pulling me into the seat next to him. There was only one seat left near that hopeless boy. I got up and instructed Kandie to sit next to Sirius. He gave me a look that was edging on killing me. I stuck my tongue out. He and I got into a face making contest until James/Prongs tickled me. I let out a shrill shriek and poked him. This is the most fun I have had in 7 years. I grabbed the moony person. I still didn't know his name and he joined in and so did the hopeless boy. Sirius was too busy trying to keep Kandie off of him. The food trolley lady came and we bought piles of chocolate frogs. One thing I must tell you. Depressions best friend is chocolate, and even after you are no longer depressed you are officially addicted to chocolate.

Kandie went to get her money so she could buy some and stayed with her friends. Sirius got really mad.

"Amy! That girl couldn't get her hands off of me. I had to pry her from my side just to get money for some beans. bbeans Than I had to literal shove her just so that I could..." he stopped seeing as I burst out laughing and fell out of my seat. In hysterics.

"IT IS NOT FUNNY" he yelled

"Your yummy." was all I could manage. I was laughing so hard. It was strange laughing for real at something. Most of my laughter had been "HA" type things. When I had stopped I explained it all to him. How she was talking when we were. He attacked me than. With tickling.

"OH CRAP!" said Moony suddenly. We all looked at him and James said 'what'. Moony pointed outside at the sky which was now beginning to become dark. James and Sirius both swore loudly and peter whimpered.

"GO." Ordered Sirius in a scary way. I didn't know what was going on but I left and took a few steps down the hallway towards Lily and her compartment. I had only taken 3 steps when James bolted out and ran in the other direction. I figured I did something wrong so I went to ask Lily.

"Lily? What is wrong with me?" I asked. "How come I cant keep any friends for very long."

"Amy? What did the idiots do now?"

"Nothing. Moony just..."

"Remus, you mean?" she asked. I shrugged. Was moony's name Remus?

"I don't know is Remus Moony's real name?"

"Yes anyway what was he doing?"

"He suddenly said "Oh crap and looked out the window and Sirius and James swore and the other boy just whimpered. I was told to get out so came here. Couldn't go near kandie after what she tried to do to Sirius." Lily gave me a questioning look when I said this. I just shook my head no and hung my head. "What is wrong with me?"

Lily's friends looked like they were about to die form holding in laughter. "Amy? There is nothing wrong with you. It is Remus. He has a problem at this time of the month."

"Don't call me Amy...wait what? Remus isn't a uh female is he? Or she?" Lily friends could not hold in their laughter anymore and Lily suddenly laughed too.

"No..Remus...where...ha, ha, ha...wolf" I didn't understand what she was talking about.

"Huh?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Who the hell would I tell?"

"Good point. Ok the secret it that Remus is a werewolf. At full moons he turns into a wolf. He suddenly realized that tonight is a moon and Sirius ordered you out so you wouldn't get bitten. He cares about you." I felt stupid at this point. Really stupid. I was all freaked because I thought they hated me when really I was the one they were protecting. Little did they know I had secrets of my own. I am an animagus. I am a hawk. Werewolves cant hurt animals so I could go check on Remus, but no I'm not registered in this country they haven't sent over my records from America yet. I am going to try to stay out of trouble in this country if I can. I smiled at my own thoughts and slowly drifted to sleep.

"AMY! Get your big Butt UP!" shouted Lily and Tara were pulling at my arms and snapping and poking me to try and wake me. At first I didn't want to get up btu than I remembered that I had to be sorted into a house._ "Hogwarts had 3 houses named after the four founders of the school. You are sorted by everything about personality. Godric Gryffindor's house is represented by a lion and will take those only as brave and loyal as one. Salizar Slytherin's house is represented by a serpent and takes only those of great cunning and wit..." _I recalled that from a book about famous wizarding schools worldwide. I didn't care about the other two houses. I wanted to be in Gryffindor or Slytherin. It is such a pity that now that I get to go to a wizarding school during the actual school year that I wont be in America for the Marava Cup. The Marava Cup is similar to the uh tri-wizard thingy only American. And no one has ever died in it. I almost participated once. It would have been wonderful. My name was plucked off of the Tree of Life and I only had to register at a school, but my mother wouldn't let me so I had to pass the opportunity up.

I got up and Lily Tara and Christy took me over to a carriage with a scary horse things pulling them. I wonder what they are. Maybe now that I got to take some better classes other than the required things I would find out what they were and what they did. They were all black and their skin was stretched tightly over their skeletons. They looked underfed to me. If I go to a school where they don't feed their horses I'm not so sure I want to go there, here, whatever.

"Lily, Tara and Christy, what house's are you in?" I asked.

"Gryffindor." they relied in unison "The boys too" added Tara.

"Oh." I said happily as I was climbing in to the carriage. As I was about to shut the door to the carriage the strict voiced woman walked up and took me to a separate carriage. As the horses started pulling she started speaking to me

""I am professor Minerva McGonagall, deputy head mistress of Hogwarts. As a new student at Hogwarts you needed to be sorted. You cannot be sorted with the first years, as you are not going to be taking classes with them. First you shall follow me, and wait in a room. When you are summoned exit though the door." The carriage stopped than and she led me towards a tree. I assumed that it was some sort of magical entrance to the school, I was right. It sort of elevated us into a little hall, which led to a room. She told me to wait in the room for further instructions and left through a different door. In the room beyond the door were hundreds of people. I don't like people. Minutes later Professor McGonagall came back and took a small three legged stool and a hat out to the people-filled room. I stood very still, not knowing what to expect. The door swung shut behind her and as soon as it was closed song broke out. The song was not sung by all of the people out in the hall, but rather by one, slightly strange voice

When I was young,

about 7 or so

the four founders found me

all alone, OH NO!

I was alone and afraid

without an owner

I was so sad

I was a loner

they took me in to do the sorting

to choose the house in which you would be boarding

Brave Gryffindor

where brave hearts dwell

they are daring have nerve and are awful swell

their chivalry set the Gryffindors apart

the ready minds of the ravenclaws

keep the wise and old

with their wit and learning

they fit right in the mold

Or maybe your friend s are in Slytherin

most cunning of them all

and they will do anything

to see themselfs standing tall

perhaps with patient hufflepuff

is where you ought to be

they are just and just and loyal,

oh can't you see.

I sit all year and think of this song

while I sip my tea

even though I know splitting you is wrong

so sit in the house that you're told

but don't forget your friends

they may be young or old

but just because we're separated by walls

doesn't mean we're not the same

Inside the school we must stand tall

to retain our wholesome name

After the very odd song was done I heard a thunder of applause. I could not here anything else well enough to understand until Professor McGonagall stuck her head in and said

"Ms. Marciano, would you please follow me into the Great Hall." I followed her into the people filled room. My stomach dropped. I really don't like people.

I scanned the Great Hall for a familiar face, and saw Lily sitting among her friends. She was smiling encouragingly at me.

"This year we have a transfer student from America. She is not the only American that goes to school here." At this the old man, I assumed it was Dumbledore, paused and smiled toward twin girls sitting at the table closest to main door.


	4. Chapter 4: Welcome to Gryffindor

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

CHAPTER 4

WELCOME TO GRYFFINDOR (Healing a wound)

I was still standing dumbly right near the small door at the back of the room when Professor Dumbledore said "Now if Amanda Marciano could please sit on the stool and out on the sorting hat?" It seemed more a question than a command so I was more than willing to comply. I began to walk towards the stool and I heard Sirius yell "Go Amy!" I shot him a look that could kill, murder, mutilate, decapitate. He shuddered I looked back at Lily who again smiled encouragingly. That gave me the push I needed and I walked to the stool, sitting and putting on the hat.

'So you want to be in slytherin or Gryffindor, Erica?' said the soft voice of the hat in my ears.

'Yes' I thought as a reply.

'You have the great intelligence of a Ravenclaw and the fairness and loyalty of a Hufflepuff.

'True, but I also have the cunning of a Slytherin and the Bravery of a gryffindor, and I would prefer to be one of those.'

'Fair point. Perhaps based on your history I should put you with your friends'

'How do you know my history?' This hat was starting to bother me. It knew my secrets.

'I know what is in your head. Yes, that is my decision you are in GRYFFINDOR!' The hat shouted the last word to the room and people. I walked to Lily, she was in Gryffindor, and sat on her right.

"Amy!" yelled Sirius joyfully as everyone clapped

"_Don't_ call me AMY!" I said, than added as an after thought "So, what house is Kandie in?"

"Sadly, Gryffindor" he said and grabbed me by the shoulders turning me slightly. I broke free of his grasp and look around. There she was. I realized why Sirius turned me, he wanted me to act as his shield from her. The old man spoke now

"Before we eat I would like to say a few words, and they are 'Enjoy your and dinner'" I looked at the table as the plates magically filled themselfs. I took a small helping of food, about half the size as Sirius's. I took a small bite, more a nibble than a bite.

"Amy you are so skinny. You should eat more than that" said Sirius piling more food onto my plate.

"I'm not hungry. I had chocolate frogs on the train. Speaking of what was going on when you all kicked me out?" I hoped that maybe Sirius would trust me enough to confide in me, and I hoped he wouldn't notice that I was trying to change the subject. I would feel better hearing about Remus's problem from someone that Remus was close to.

"Well...uh...Remus...he...uh...Maybe you should talk to him." Sirius seemed nervous, and he started shoveling food into his mouth like it was his last meal. I looked around, Remus still wasn't here. I wondered if he had the problem all night or just part of it. I ate another bite of food, when the desserts appeared. I immediately reached for a chocolate mousse and ate a small bit of it. Sirius Again ate mounds of food. How could he eat that much without getting sick? After everyone had finished eating the food. Dumbledore stood up and a hush automatically fell over everyone. I looked up at him hoping for...I don't know what I was hoping for, but I felt my hope boiling in me. He told us rules, the forbidden forest, was of course forbidden, as were a few items. I paid no attention, but was rather drawn towards looking at a black haired boy who was looking me over as if preparing to curse me. I knew how to defend myself. I was quite good at it actually, but I would prefer not to show my skills on my first night. After we ate Lily showed me to the Gryffindor Common Room. The password to get in was Licence Plate. I found it weird that the password was so random, but I decided that it was easy to remember something so unconnected to my life. She showed me where I was going to sleep, so I changed into my black silk tank top and pants and went to bed. It was around 2 in the morning when I woke up. I wasn't sure at first what had woken me, but as I heard it again I was sure it was Remus dealing with his problem. I couldn't fall back asleep, so I went down into the common room. I sat on the couch in front of the fire. The fire looked like it was slowly dying...like I used to feel inside. As the flames were sinking lower, lower, lower, lower, lower, until only the embers were glowing a fiery red. The coals sparked, but the fire slowly died away. I sat there for what felt like hours until I was startled out of my peaceful thoughts by the portrait hole opening reveling none other than an injured James Potter. HE stumbled in to the common clutching his stomach and swearing like there was no tomorrow. I felt bad for him, his injuries much worse than any _physical_ injuries I have ever had. He had a very large and deep gash across his stomach which was bleeding profusely. I really hate showing affection towards other livening beings...dead ones I have no problems with.

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? You know first years live here too."

"Well sor-ry Amy, but incase you haven't noticed I am practically bleeding to death here"

"Here let me help you." I sighed. We both sat down. I examined the wound for a moment before blushing slightly and saying "umm...James you need to take off your shirt." He eyed me skeptically before nodding and removing his shirt.

"Oh My God, James!" I said when I saw the wound. I clasped my hand over my mouth. After a tricky bit of spell work and a touch of Murtlap James was healed.

"James, to eliminate scars dab some of this on them before bed at night." I pulled a jar of murlarp scar treatment cream I had made long time ago out of thin air...or that's what it looked like to him. I knew a spell that could make thins come to your hand much quicker than Accio. I handed the jar to James and leaned back against the couch. James followed suit. I picked up James shirt and said a spell to remove the blood, than folded it and put it in his lap. He picked it up off of his lap and draped it over a nearby chair.

"James it is a freshly cleaned shirt I just had it folded why did you unfold it?"

"It leaves creases in my clothes." I rolled my eyes at his silly answer. We sat on the couch for a few minutes in silence staring at the last of the glowing embers.

"Amy?" He began after a minute. "How do you know it all? All the healing spells and this cream here? How did you learn it all?"

"My mother wouldn't let my go to a magic school during the winter months, and spring and fall. She thought that I should keep studying 'normal' muggle subjects like math and science and such. Anyways I noticed that underage magic isn't monitored when school is in session, so I practiced at home. I got top grades at my summer school. Only went so that I could get credit for all of my magic. I learned from books and I even made up a few of my own spells."

"Did you learn to become an animagus?" James asked. I debated telling him, but than decided to.

"I am a hawk. Are you one? An animagus I mean?"

"Oh, uhhh, yeah I'm a stag. Do you know the reason you're a Hawk? There is a reason for each you know."

"I know, but I don't know."

"Your contradicting yourself."

"I know we all have reasons for our animagus, but I don't know mine. I don't like it either. Hawks are powerful, and I am not. I have a spell that can turn you into any animal you want though. You say Creatura and than your animal. I usually turn into a robin or a rabbit, or sometimes a moth. The effects of the spell start to wear off after about half an hour, but the human like qualities of your voice come back first, so you just say it again."

"Oh. Wow, you know a lot." James and I talked more, and about more personal things, such as my history. I felt like my internal wounds were healed now. That is last thing I remember before fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5:Early Mornings

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

There is a bit of swearing in this chapter, just thought I'd warn you.

CHAPTER 5

EARLY MORNINGS (What the Hell?)

I woke up startled by a loud noise, and opened my eyes. There were at least 40 people standing around gaping at me. Why were so many people in my dorm. I looked around and it all came flooding back to me. I was talking to James and fell asleep on the couch in front of the fire. James's shirt was still draped over the chair. Why did he leave his shirt down here? He must have been really tired. I began to stretch until I felt something soft and fuzzy where my pillow was. My head whipped around to realize that I had been using James's head and shoulders as my pillow.

"James! James! WAKE UP JAMES!" I had taken him buy the shoulders and was shaking him.

"Mmm...umhmm" He grumbled.

"JAMES FUCKING POTTER! WAKE YOU'RE ASS UP NOW!" I screamed practically in his ear.

"Oww. God, you don't have to..." he stopped when he opened his eyes "Amy? What's going on?"

"We fell asleep on the couch last night after we..." James gave me a look that plainly said Don't-you-dare-say-another-thing-about-what-we-talked-about. I got up nodding to James about not talking.

"Don't forget your shirt...Oh and your..." again he gave me a look. I went upstairs to change into my clothes.

"Best of Mornings Lily!" I said to one of my 3 female friends. "And you too, Tara and Christy," Tara and Christy nodded to me, but were busy making clothes. Lily completely ignored me, but continued to sit on her bed staring straight ahead at nothing. "Lily? Are you ok?" Again she ignored me. I began to walk up to her, at which point she yanked the curtain in attempt to close it.

"Tara, why is Lily mad at me?"

"Probably because you slept with the guy who has been on his knees begging to date her for years,"

"Ok the Keyword in that was Slept. We fell asleep talking besides that if it upsets her so much she should have dated him. I know it was exactly 827 times he asked her out. He told me that last night when we were talking"

"826, he cant count the time when I was half asleep," Lily said

"Whatever. Actually he didn't count it, though he did tell me about it," I said "He did however count last night," I said. Lily nodded and went back to staring at nothing. I grabbed a pair of black jeans and a black tank top and quickly got dressed wearing those under my robes. I went back to the common room and many heads turned in my direction. I gave them my famous kill, murder mutilate decapitate glare. I saw Peter sitting in a corner clutching a small silver spoon. Turning it over and over. Right about now I wish I was an Occlumens. I walked over to him and he quickly shoved the spoon into his bag. What a strange little man he is!

"Nice silverware. Do you have a whole set or just a spoon?" I joked. He laughed nervously.

"It was Godric Gryffindors," he said

"Oh,"

"Don't tell the others!" he said suddenly.

"I wasn't going to. Did you expect me to just be like 'Hey Remus, James and Sirius Guess what I saw... Peter had a silver spoon that belonged to Gryffindor.' Yeah right," I laughed. James Sirius and Remus walked up to us then.

"Right, Sorry, Yeah," said Peter nervously.

Remus, James, and Sirius, Peter, and I were walking down one of he many sets of stairs together when Sirius said "So what actually happened last night?" I looked at James for some kind of cue, but he began to speak instead.

"Well I came back a little late from our nighttime uh..." He paused, thinking that I didn't know about Remus. "Excursion...with some fairly deep cuts. Amy here healed them and gave me some weird cream stuff and we fell asleep talking,"

"Oh. Ok than" said Sirius, sounding slightly more cheerful. How is it that the only friends I have had in years are strange? Are they even my friends, or are they just pretending? Are we considered friends? I don't know...this is weird. I like it, but it is weird. We were all sitting, about to eat. As I debate my friendship with the Marauders, Professor McGonagall came up to me holding a piece of paper. I took it and she left.

"What is it?" asked Sirius as I began to unfold it.

"Sirius, please be a good boy and ask me that after I have it open," I patted him on the head like a dog.

"Do you think she knows?" James asked to Remus and Sirius.

"Know what?" I asked. I was ignored.

"We could tell her, I trust her enough to. I think I'm gonna tell her," said Sirius.

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"I am an animagus" he whispered. "I am a dog, and your little 'good boy' and head patting thing...well you see what I'm getting at right?

"Ohhhhhh. I'm one too. A hawk, but I have a spell so I can be any other animal I want,"

"Oh, cool," he said. I finished opening the paper, and read out loud, but quietly

"_Ms. Amanda Marciano _

_Your transfer of registration (TOR) request for animagus transformations has been declined. The TOR has been declined because you had not renewed your Animagus Transformation licence in 3 years. You may apply for a new licence with the enclosed forms._

_Sincerely Nora K. Laran_

_Head of the Transfiguration Department_

_Ministry Of Magic Official_" I pulled out the forms and looked at them. They were hopelessly long. I began to fill it out.

Name:_ Amanda Marciano_

Age: _17_

Date of Birth: _7-28-1967_

Known Allergies:

I stopped. Known allergies? I was turning into a Hawk, not getting surgery. I went back to my form, after laughing at this, with the boys.

Known Allergies: _None_

Mothers first name: _Jennifer_

Fathers first name: _Craig_

Fathers Last name: _Marciano_

Mothers Maiden Name: _Mentayl_

Mothers Date of birth: _12-3-1949_

Fathers Date of birth:_ 6-18-1937_

Mothers magical blood: _squib_

Fathers Magical blood:_ muggle_

Animagus Form: _Hawk_

Animagus form characteristics(eyes, markings etc): _grey-brown eyes, brown feathers, but black tail feathers._

Pets names and species: _Gigi, Owl; Coco, Cat;_

The form continued like this, asking me questions about me, my family, and my life. I didn't end up eating breakfast today, but I basically never eat anyways. I blame my parents. They never gave me food really, I mean they did, but not much, and nothing that I liked, and I couldn't cook to save my life. Well maybe to _save_ it, but not to satisfy it. I got free lunch at school, so that was my main meal. My body got accustomed to eating only at lunch, and now, that is basically the only time I eat. I managed to got it mostly finished during breakfast. Now I had to go to my first Transfiguration Class.


	6. Chapter 6:Sirius and Remus

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

CHAPTER 6

SIRIUS AND REMUS (Butterbeer)

I followed Sirius and Remus down to the classroom. James had already left, following Lily, and Peter was getting extra help in a different class at this time. I was nervous beyond belief, and my stomach was cartwheeling, something that the rest of my body couldn't do. I had once tried gymnastics to get friends, but I couldn't do a cartwheel, let alone some of the more complicated floor moves, such as roundoff-back handspring-back tucks or anything on bars at all, and the beam and the... I just couldn't think about it couldn't think about it. I walked into the classroom and instantly wanted to turn back. That wasn't an option for me though, so I tilted my head down and looked at Sirius's shoes which were in front of me, and that led me on. Remus was behind me sort of as a guide. Sirius led me to a table in the back and we sat it. There was room for one other at our table, and James soon filled that void, leaving Lily with Tara, Christy, and another girl I didn't know. I wanted this to be over with. I shrunk down more in my chair and looked down at my lap. I felt an arm around my shoulder and I instantly sat up straight, pushing whoever off me. It was Remus, I guessed by the puzzled and slightly offended look on his face.

"Sorry, reflex," I mumbled. He rubbed my back, but than Professor McGonagall stepped up and called he class's attention to herself.

"OK I think it would be wise for us to do some review work on our first day back, so I would like each of you to change your hairstyle and color, and than put it right again. You may begin," I had never done this before, and didn't know what to do. I looked at Sirius, but he was too busy trying to turn his long blue hair back to normal. How did he do that so fast? I looked at Remus, and saw that he had a pink bun on his head. Every time he tried to fix it again it would flash normal, but soon would be a pink bun again. I soon saw that it was James, who had it seemed gone bald, but just as I realized this his hair began to grow, and it was blond. It grew to the floor, and than it started to shrink. Apparently James knew a spell so that Remus couldn't undo it and as Remus tried to de-pink bunify I asked James for help. He taught me how and soon I had short crimson hair. I immediately turned it back to the long black hair I loved. Class continued wiht reviewing things, some of which I knew and some I didn't. After that we had Potions. We walked down there, Remus still with a pink bun, and met up with Peter. We stepped into the classroom, and I wanted to die, right there, it smelled like my dad's house used to. I stopped in my tracks and looked around. Peter nudged me forwards and I walked forwards. Everyone looked pale. I sat next to James and Sirius. Sirius was muttering something about his mum and James started crying. I didn't know what this had to do with them, but I didn't care. I was overcome with the smell of my dad's house. I blocked my nose. The professor came in, I later found out his name was Slughorn.

"Ok class, lets get started. I can tell by your faces, that you recognize the smell in this room. It is the smell that you smelled during the very worst time in your life. Depression. You will be brewing depression. As it is a difficult potion whoever gets it closest will get a bottle of something special," I looked at Remus, and he pointed to a small cauldron in the front that was bubbling. I opened my book and found it. Halfway through the class Professor Slughorn told us that we should be almost done, and to let them stew for a while stirring them every 2 minutes. I picked up my book and went to close it, but a slip of paper fell out I picked it up and opened it. It was blank. I went to shove it into the back of my book I saw a spell written there, pointing to another piece of paper. I figured what's the worst that could happen, but I decided to save it for later. I stirred my potion. By the end of class my potion was smelling like my fathers house. The book said that a properly brewed potion will smell strongly of whatever you smelled during the worst moments of your life, and taste like what you tasted. Professor Slughorn walked around sniffing each potion, and stirring a few. Peters was not smelling of my father house, but was smelling of nothing, it didn't smell like anything. Slughorn stopped at his.

"Peter, Peter, Peter, what are we going to do with you? Did you add the unicorn hair before or after the root?"

"A-after sir," said Peter

"Exactly. You brewed a superb potion of happiness, not depression. That will count against you, but the fact that it si brewed correctly is wonderful. If you smell the potion of Peter here you will smell your happiest memory," I didn't smell anything. Did that mean I was living my happiest memory? I didn't know. He stopped at another Potion, before he came to mine.

"Severus Snape. What a wonderful potion. Blood red in color, like water in texture, smells of my worst memory," he walked on and stopped at mine. "Another wonderfully brewed potion, only your's is almost as thin as a gas only not water. That is a texture that even I can't get to. You are amazing at potions Ms...I'm sorry, I don't know your name,"

"Amanda Marciano," I said.

"Right. Well you are a wonderful potions maker," He moved on, complimenting Lily's too. After he had walked around he went up to the front.

"Well it seems that we have a tie. Lily Evans, Severus Snape, and uh Amanda Marciano. That is what you said your name was right?" I nodded and followed Lily up to receive a little bottle that it was ful of multicolored swirling silvery liquid.

"Use this when you are bored, overwhelmed, or scared. If you are bored it will make things exciting, if you are overwhelmed it will calm things down a bit, and if you are scared it will comfort you. You just need to say a spell and drink a small sip and than everything will be better," He wrote down the three spells on a small piece of parchment, and handed it to me, than did it to both Severus Snape and Lily. Than Slughorn said "You have enough for 15 doses here, because I'm being generous," I walked out and into the bathroom, and took a small sip and said the spell to calm things down, than I walked out. The boys were waiting outside the door for me, except for James.

"We have a free period, and so far we don't have homework," Said Sirius. I nodded, feeling a little woozy, and I fell over, catching myself with the doorknob.

"Are you okay?" asked Remus as Sirius Scooped me up.

"I think you should go to Madam Pomphrey," said Sirius and he began to walk, still holding me.

"Put me down! I'm just hungry ok? I didn't eat lunch yesterday really, or dinner or breakfast today,"

"Ok well than we'll go to the kitchens," He turned around so suddenly that my hair flew behind me.

"Put my down!"

"Ok!" he said and because of how he was holding me, he was able to put my head down first. I was upside down and I didn't like it. I wrapped my arms around the bottoms of his legs.

"SIRIUS!" I yelled.

"Let go and put your hands on the ground. I've got you,"

"No! You pick me back up and put me down right!"

"Fine, fine," he said, than flipped me over ery quickly and easily. "Amy, you need to gain some weight,"

"Well I'm trying, but I don't know how to get to the kitchens," Sirius and Remus gave each other looks and each grabbed one of my hands. They began running.

"YOU GUYS! I CAN'T RUN!" I yelled as I stumbled. Remus and Sirius stopped running, and we began to walk. Suddenly Remus picked my up and put me over his shoulder, then they began to run again.

"REMUS I DON'T KNOW YOUR MIDDLE NAME LUPIN! YOU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

"I want a hamburger," said Sirius, as Remus ignored my attempts to get him to put me down. I suddenly noticed, that Remus other arm was swinging pretty close to my face. As he ran I grabbed his arm and bit it.

"OW!" he said stopping. He practically threw me down, but I landed on my feet, just barely. Sirius grabbed my arm to stop me from falling backwards down the stairs. Remus gave me a look like I had done something wrong. Great. Lily is mad at me, now Remus is too.

"Moony, She didn't know. She doesn't know,"

"Yeah but still, it brings back the memory,"

"Fine, but It's not her fault. I think you should tell her though,"

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"I am a werewolf," he said. I think he expected me to get emotional, but I didn't see what that had to do with him throwing me.

"So? You're still Remus," I said. I was careful not to show my emotions through my eyes. My eyes are a greyish brown color, and grey eyes are the easiest to read emotion in, but brown is the hardest. I loved how my eye color confused people trying to read my emotion.

"Amanda," he began again. I held my breath. I hadn't been called Amanda since the train ride when Sirius gave me the name Amy. Even though it was only yesterday it felt like a lifetime ago. "When you bit me, you bit in the same spot that I had been bitten in when I first became a werewolf,"

"Oh Remus! I'm sorry! I didn't know! If I had I wouldn't have bitten you!" I only was half lying. I had known he was a werewolf, but I hadn't known it was his arm that he was bitten in.

"Fine, Whatever, you didn't mean it. Lets go," He said. I could tell he was unsure if I could keep his secret. If I was the type of person who didn't mind physical contact, I might have hugged him at that time. Instead I said in a hard voice

"Remus. I know don't trust me right now. I know you well enough to see that," He opened his mouth to protest, probably with a 'you just met me you can't know that much about me' type speech, but I continued "It is a gift. I can look into eyes and see emotion, fear, hope, trust, and even desire. I know you much better than you think I do. I promise you that your secret is safe with me," I said, than I poked him in the shoulder. I don't know why, but it felt right. Pokeing people soon came to be my way of showing affection. Most people would hug or kiss, I would poke. The more times I poked you, the more I liked you. That was the first time I had ever poked anyone before.

We contined down to the kitchen and met a few funny looking creatures that I was told were called House Elves. I asked one to get me a few crackers, and it obeyed quickly.

"And A..." Sirius started than bent down to whisper to the elf. When it came back it had a bottle without a label

"What is it?" I asked when it was handed to me

"Just try it," said Sirius. I took a small sip. It was like drinking, for lack of a better word, happy.

"So what is it?" I asked taking another sip.

"Butterbeer," he said. I spit it all out everywhere, including all over him.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU GAVE ME BEER!"

"Its not like regular beer...you cant get drunk off it...or at least I don't think so," I relaxed a little, but handed the bottle back to him. I was still a bit shaken by it. I ate some crackers and than take a few chocolate frogs, and stuff them in my bag. Now I have chocolate.

"Amy, I'm going out flying. You want to come?" asked Remus. I know now that he considers us friends.

"Sure," I say. I tried to smile, but I began to cry. I wasn't sad, they were tears of joy. I thought tears of joy were a myth. I had never had any experiance with them. Remus hugged me and my body tensed, but I didn't push him away. I allowed him to hug me, and Sirius soon hugged me too. I lifted my arms and wrapped them around the two boys and began to cry harder.

"Sorry," I sobbed. I was sorry I was causing them problems. I felt that I was making their lives harder with all my guilt.

"Don't. Not your fault" said Sirius, seeming to read my mind. I hugged him harder.


	7. Chapter 7 Forgiven, I Think

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

CHAPTER 7

FORGIVEN, I THINK... (Cursing Snape)

The next thing I knew I was in the common room, laying on a couch in the corner that Peter was in that morning. I must have fallen asleep crying again. Stupid tears. Stupid sleep. Stupid me. I was vulnerable. They new my secrets. I couldn't help but think about that. What if it was an act. I was scared, and I almost started crying again. Where did all these tears come from. I hadn't cried in ages. Except for when my mother died, I hadn't cried in over a year and a half, but then I came to here, and cant stop crying. I looked over at Remus, who was sitting in a chair right beside my head. Sirius was sitting by my feet on my couch. I sat up a little. James and Peter were sitting near me on chairs too.

"Hey guys," I said. "Thanks," I smiled a little at them.

"For what? For letting you cry on us? Or for carrying you up here? You weigh basicly nothing so carrying you was easy, and the crying thing well so I needed to change in to a dry shirt, but that's no big deal," Said Sirius. I wanted to poke him, so I leaned over and did. He gave me a funny look, but smiled. I looked over to the rest of the room and saw Lily sitting with Tara and Christy. I got up and went over to them. Lily again began to stare at nothing. Christy smiled at me, but Tara looked away.

"Lily look, I'm sorry about James. I swear on my life that we didn't do anything last night except for talk, sit, and eventually sleep," I said hopeing she might listen. Her eyes focused on me and looked into mine, reading them, as I often do to people.

"I know," she muttered looking like a three year old who was caught with their hand in the cookie jar and gestured me to sit with them. Tara still didn't look at me.

"Whats wrong Tara?" I asked her. She still didn't turn to me and it was Christy who answered.

"She was planning on asking him to go with her to Hogsmead soon." I nodded.

"You can still ask him. He will probably say yes, but don't get too into him, he still wants Lily," I smiled at Tara and touched her arm, which she jerked away immediately. I wonder what that's about.

"And he might have Lily if he stopped asking her out continuously ," said Lily herself.

"Why are you talking in the third person?" I ask. She didn't answer. A while later we went to class, and the day ended

The next day I woke up and went to breakfast alone, before anyone else had woken up. I saw the person who looked like they wanted to curse me again. He was staring at me, and I stared back, chalenging him. He sneered at me, and I walked up to him.

"Don't give me that look." I said as I walked up to him.

"Who is going to stop me?" he asked. I was now about 6 inches in front of him.

"I am." I breathed. He reached for his wand, but I already had mine in my hand, which was by my side. Stepping backwards I lifted it, and pointed it at him. "Don't make me embarrass you." I said. He two lifted his wand.

"You couldn't if you tried." he answered.

"Watch me." I said "And watch your back too" I added.

"Is that a threat?"

"Why yes, I think it might be." I said and walked off, but not before I cursed him. Apparently James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had seen what I did.

"That was awesome." said James as I walked over and sat at our table.

"Yeah, what was that curse you used?"

"Oh, not a hard one, just something I had whipped up for Mark and Sean, Kate and Sam's boyfriends, before I moved here." I said, and fell into a normal day, with the Marauders and Demangels.

That night I was sitting in my room, writing a poem. It was just a random rhyme that had popped into my head. It had absolutely no connection to my life whatsoever, but it came into my head and so I wrote it. Lily was sitting in her bed, writing too. She had told me that she didn't keep a diary, so I wondered what she was writing.

"Lily, Whatcha writing?" I asked in a sing-song voice. She didn't answer but yanked the curtains shut around her bed.

"You're not mad at me are you?" I asked cautiously.

"No, I'm not mad at you Amy." she said, and went back to her writing. I put my notebook away and lay down. I fell asleep to the sound of Lily's quill scratching away.

A/N: I had to add a tiny part to this post to make some other things valid. If you want to be clued in to what is happening next I would advise you to read 'Whispers of I Love You' which explains what Lily is doing. If you would prefer to only know as much as Amy knows (she doesn't find out about what happens in 'Whispers of I Love You' but she does wonder about it a lot) then don't read it.


	8. Chapter 8: Lily and James

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now… On with the story!

CHAPTER 8

LILY AND JAMES (What did we miss now?)

The next morning I woke up and saw that I was the first person in the common room. Peter came down soon after.

"You're up early every morning, Amy." He said, joining me on the couch."

"I learned to be a morning person, because my parents were not. I used to go back to bed and fake sleeping for a while when they got up, too." Peter nodded. James came into the common room then, practically skipping.

"Hello James." I said. "What's with the skipping?"

"Well…" he drew out the word, and Sirius came over.

"Morning. What's going on?" He sat on the couch, and fell asleep before James could answer.

"SIRIUS!" I said dousing him with water from my wand.

"hmmm," he groaned "Sleeeeep." He used his wand to dry himself, and sat, in a half sleep. The common room was starting to fill up.

"What are we talking about?" asked Remus coming up.

"I'm not sure, James was nearly skipping though.

"oh. So James, what is it? Did you curse Snape real good or something."

"No I…" he started, but Lily came down, and came over to us.

"Morning all." She said. Then, to the surprise of all of us, she gave James a kiss on the cheek. The whole common room went silent. Sirius shot awake. Lily grabbed James' hand, and together they walked out the portrait hole, only this time, James was actually skipping. The whole room burst into loud whispers at the same time.

"what did we miss!" I asked in a desperate whisper.

"Did…did…Lily…James…What?" said Tara at a loss for words, coming up behind us. Christy was with her and her face seemed frozen in a look of shock and happiness.

"I don't know," said Sirius "But I like it! Spontaneous things don't happen much, but they're fun!" We all passed a glance around out little circle that we seemed to have formed, and all six of us took off running through the portrait hole.

A/N: Yes it's short, and yes, it's shocking, and Yes, It's a cliff hanger, but My computer is still broken, and I wrote that from Memory. I felt that you all deserved a little bit of story just to keep you form leaving me after all this time.


	9. Chapter 9:I lied to you

DISCLAIMER: I have seen many a funny disclaimer, but I do not have one to use so I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be rich and I would be putting this story in a book as opposed to this website. I own Amanda Marciano. You cannot have her to use, nor can you use the Demangels, I do not own the idea of the Demangels, I have gotten permission from the owner to use them now... On with the story!

CHAPTER 9

I LIED TO YOU (Frikking Insane Asylum)

Breakfast was a quiet affair, because James and Lily had both disappeared. It was sort of calming. We went to Herbology. I chose a seat near the back of the greenhouse, near James and Peter and Remus (Sirius was skipping class). I sat there, ready to take notes, but a thought that I had been continuously willing away had come back into my head. 'What if they tell my secrets.' I had to come up with a way to make them not believe it. I sat there, pushing dirt with my spade...what were we supposed to be doing?...when I realized what to do. I reached down into my bag, and grabbed a notebook. Not my poems notebook but my other notebook. Full of random spells that I'd learned, spells I'd made up, Titles of books I read, Ideas I had, Quotes, plans...the usual random stuff. "Tell Marauders and Demangels that I'm a Pathological Liar." I scribbled in the corner of a page. James leaned over.  
"What are you writing?" He asked. I slammed my book shut.  
"Nothing." I lied.  
"Well you're obviously writing something...is it by any chance about how irresistible I am?" he asked sarcastically. He ran his fingers through his hair.  
"You wish." I retorted, rolling my eyes. I knew that after I told them that I was a lier that I wouldn't be able to just joke around and sit with them. It made me sad. Not upset, not hysterical, but plain old regular sad. I tried my hardest to enjoy my last real day with my new friends, but it was hard, and I knew they could tell.  
After Lunch I had free period, and I decided to spend it with the Demangels. I saw Tara and Christy sitting in the common room, sewing.  
"Hey." I said trying to sound cheerful, but it sounded fake, even to me. Tara and Christy looked up at me and smiled a little. They each had what looked to be a shirt sitting in their lap. Christy's was white, and Tara's was a light shade of pink.  
"Where's Lily?" I asked Trying to create conversation.  
"She had a meeting with Dumbledore."  
"A head girl Meeting" added Tara, sounding a little bitter. I nodded, although I didn't understand 'Just smile and nod, smile and nod' It seemed that they didn't want to talk to me, and I didn't push it. I spent the time brainstorming about how to tell them I was a pathological lier.

Later that night I was still contemplating how to tell them. I was sitting on a small couch with Sirius on my rigth and Remus on my left. It was a very crowded couch. Lily Was sitting with James, on a chair, to the right of our couch. Tara and Christy were sitting with Peter, on another, bigger couch to the left of ours. They were set up in a sort of circle. I got up and sat in a chair, that was on the right of Lily and James', between theirs and Tara Christy and Peters couch. I was nervous. I had to tell them. Now. I had to tell them now when they were all together. My stomach dropped. I was nervous. I burrowed down deeper into the chair. I pulled my arms of of the armrest and folded them across my stomach. I was nervous. I let my hands slowly wrap around my middle. 'No!' I mentally told myself 'No! No! No!', but I was so nervous. I pinched my sides really hard, but no one could see. I pinched really hard, but I held my muscles firm in my face so that they wouldn't see my pain. I was nervous. I released my sides, and could tell that I had just given my self bruises. I was so nervous. I didn't care. I moved my arms, to remove the temptaion of doing it again.  
"Amy, what's wrong?" asked Remus. He could see my nervousness.  
"Uhhh...ubbb...eeh...Ooh.." I stuttered out sounds of nothingness. It was now or never. "I'm sorry." I said. I was too. I was really sorry about my losing them, but that isn't what I had to tell them.  
"Sorry about what?" Peter tilted his head in a confused sort of way.  
"I lied to you?" I said it with an almost questioning tone. I made my voice firmer, more sure. "I...I'm a pathological lier. Everything on the train, everything I said, about my dad, about how my mom died. About it all." I was in tears now. It hurt me to tell such a big lie. I was usually such an honest person. Lily look ready fro murder. She got up and stormed out the portrait hole. Tears kept streaming down my face. Automatically I turned to my right, to check out faces. Tara looked mad. Christy looked confused. Peter looked betrayed. I had to stop crying. I stood up and ran lightly on my feet up to the dormitory.  
I paced back and forth for about 10 seconds. "What do I do? What do I do?" I asked myslef over and over. I half lifted the side of my shirt to see the bruises I'd left. Already purple. I touched it and it hurt….badly.  
I grabbed my black leather jacket and put it on. "First stop kitchens for ice." I said to myslef. On the inside of my jacket were waterproof pockets sewn in line with the spots that always got pinched. I had put them there for ice about a year ago. I beagn to walk down the stairs. Kandie was coming up. I ducked into the first dorm to avoid her, realizing too late that it was the first year dorm.  
"Amy? Why are you in here?"  
"I'm hiding from my friends."  
"Why?"  
"I dondt want to talk about it." I said and ran out. I carefully came down the stairs. And crossed the common room. James Tara Christy and Peter had all left. Just Remus and Sirius remained.  
"It's like I live in a frikkin' Insane Asylum." Remus said Plopping down into a chair. "First Lily hatre James, and she kisses him the next day. And then Amy and this lying thing." I noticed that they were still calling me Amy.  
After I'd gotten my ice I figured the place they'd be least likely to look for me was the roof so I went up and out.


	10. Chapter 10: On The Roof

On the Roof (sleepy Snake)

"It's like I live in a frikkin' Insane Asylum." Remus said Plopping down into a chair. "First Lily hates James, and she kisses him the next day. And then Amy and this lying thing." I noticed that they were still calling me Amy.   
After I'd gotten my ice I figured the place they'd be least likely to look for me was the roof so I went up and out.

"Who are you?" asked a male voice on the other sied of the roof. I was in a little crevice, where one section of the roof met another. He was over on the other side of hte peak. I imagined he was looking out over the grounds.

"No one that you know I'm sure." I said bitterly. I instantly felt bad. "Sorry." I apologized. "I'm in a really bad mood."

"Then you've come to the rigth place. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I just broke off the only strands of almost-friendship I'd had in years."

"Almost friendship?" he asked.

"I'd only met them on the train. I told them all my secrets. About my mom, Kate and Sam, about my dad," I paused for breath then continued to pour the depths of my soul out to this complete stranger. I told him all my secrets. I told him how I had to sever ties with my friends. I told him about Kate and Sam, my dad, about moving in with Aunt Mary. I told this stranger the one thing that I had never told anyone before, not the Marauders, not the Demangels. Not anyone in my family. Not my therapist. I told him about my pinching. He responded to everything with friendly words of comfort and advise, but, thankfully, he kept all hints of pity out of his voice. It made me feel better.

"How come you're here?" I asked him.

" I have a story too." he said, and let the unasked question 'what is your story' hang in the air. I heard movement on the other side of hte roof, and know he's getting up.

"Don't leave." I said to him

"Why not?"

"Because I feel comfortable around you. You remind me of me. It's liek being able to talk to myself, but not knowing what I'll say. I feel safe. And also I ...I wanted to know who oyu are."

"Who I am is a secret. I haven't asked you who you are since you first didn't tell me, if you hadn't notced." I understood what he meant. HE wanted to keep his identity secret, just as much as I wanted mine.

"Can you tell me wht house you're in?"

"Slytherin." I heard his footsteps moving towards thewindow.

"I'm a gryffindor," I say.

"Good night Gryffindor." He said, and I heard him open the window.

"Sleep tight Slytherin." I said. I hear him jump onto the floor, inside the window. I hear it shut, and I'm alone on the roof, with water leaking through the left side pocket


End file.
